Are you new to tarot? If so, you’re in good company here. Many of my clients are first-timers with little-to-no tarot experience. Introducing people to tarot readings in a way that ensures they feel safe, seen, and 100% in the driver’s seat of their own lives is crucial to my practice.
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Why is this so important to me? Well, believe it or not, my first tarot reading was a horrible experience! It was so bad I didn’t go anywhere near tarot cards — or psychics — for nearly a decade.
Sadly, my story is not uncommon. In fact, I had another borderline-traumatic encounter in the past few years — this time with a palm reader. And more recently, I’ve spoken to two other women who had equally bad encounters with psychics and tarot readers.
I’m here to assure you that not all psychics, intuitive advisors, and tarot readers are the same. We all fall somewhere on the spectrum with a transformative, healing, and empowering session at one end and absolute garbage at the other.
As a tarot reader, I strive to help inspire you to take empowered action toward achieving the life of your dreams. Here are some tips on red flags to look out for in a tarot reader who may do the opposite.
The tarot reader gives unsolicited advice
Unsolicited advice is intrusive and harmful. Period.
No one should tell you things you didn’t ask to know, including messages from your spirit guides, loved ones who have passed on, etc.
The inspiration for red flag number one comes from my most recent bad experience with a lady who claimed to be psychic. A few years ago, I was enjoying live music at a restaurant with a friend. We sat at a large table with some people she knew, one of whom worked as a hypnotherapist. I thought I liked this lady — we’d talked about astrology and art on previous occasions. So, when she mentioned her supernatural ability to read people’s energies through their hands, my face lit up. I told her I was interested.
She said she could do it another time but declined to read my hand just then. We were in a public place, it was loud, and she was already red-faced from wine.
But then, after she had a couple more glasses of wine, she grabbed my hand, looked closely, and announced in a voice all could hear that the man I had just married was not right for me.
My jaw dropped. Heart sank.
I pulled my hand away and wanted to cry.
Three years later, we’re still married, and that night still haunts me sometimes.
I didn’t ask for that.
When I think of that night, I have to remember that a) she was drunk and b) likely had ulterior motives.
She was friendly with one of the guys playing with the band that night. Said guy clearly had a little crush on me. I tell myself she was just trying to give him a chance.
But still, I wish I’d punched that manipulative line-stepper right in the face.
They DM you with a tarot reading sales pitch
We’ve all been targets of DM cold outreach, right? In fact, one of the reasons I limit my time on Instagram is how spammy and salesy the platform has become. I constantly have strangers dropping into my DMs trying to get me to buy something, and the spiritual advice field is no exception.
While there are legitimate ways to connect with potential clients on social media, most people don’t practice them. In my opinion, there’s nothing wrong with DM cold outreach as long as the person doing it makes an effort to cultivate a relationship and offer something that’ll enrich your life.
If someone drops into your DMs to promote their services without bothering to learn your name or why you might benefit from them, my advice is to ignore or even block them. I do.
I’ll admit, I have used Instagram to schedule tarot + tapping sessions. But I reach out to people I’ve already connected with and offer to gift them a complimentary service. Anything beyond that feels gross.
That leads me to my next red flag…
They claim to feel a connection with you, then ask for money
I know I’m not the only one who’s had a psychic say, “I feel a really strong connection with you. Can I offer you XYZ?”
This always baffles me. How strong a connection can you feel with someone you just started talking to via email or DM? One woman told me a psychic reached out to her on Instagram because she felt drawn to her photo.
Does anyone else find that creepy? And manipulative? Predatory, even?
If you get those feelings from a psychic or tarot reader, walk away.
I firmly believe that a good advisor never tries to convince people to become paying clients. They shouldn’t have to.
It’s one thing to talk about your services and let people decide on their own if you’re a good fit, and quite another to suggest someone buy something from you because you “feel a connection.”
The tarot reader plants seeds of doubt
Okay, so let’s say you’ve booked a reading with a psychic or tarot reader you feel pretty good about. It’s important to enter the meeting with a clear understanding of your personal boundaries so you can tell if the reader begins to encroach upon them.
Remember the palm reader in the first red flag? She’s a perfect example of this.
The same night she said those horrible things to me, I saw her huddled with my friend, holding her hand. As I walked closer, I heard my friend speak up for herself. She told the reader that she knew she didn’t want kids and that her husband felt the same. Her voice was firm, and her eyes unwavering. I can only imagine this crazy lady was trying to convince my friend that she was meant to be a mother!
Good thing my friend was sure of herself and dismissed this woman’s reading as total BS!
Their messages are disempowering
My first tarot reading was awful. It was so bad I didn’t touch tarot cards or seek intuitive advice for 10 years.
Why? Because the psychic I went to told me all my friends were talking about me behind my back and that I’d end up marrying a man with blonde hair and a D in his name.
I walked out of her house believing I couldn’t trust my circle of friends and that dating any guy who didn’t fit that description would waste time.
These messages were toxic because they made me question my judgment and suggested I had no authority over my own life. The future is not set in stone. Anyone who tells you something will definitely happen, and there’s nothing you can do to alter its course is full of shit. Either that or you’re hearing messages from Goddess/The Universe/Your Higher Power. If that’s the case, please do listen!
When I seek advice about future events with tarot cards, I know it’s open to change. What happens in your life tomorrow depends on how you perceive and respond to today’s information. Nothing can change that.
But if you can’t predict the future, what’s the point of a tarot reading?
I find psychic advice and tarot cards immensely helpful in gaining insight into the present and helping me see the future I want to create.
Personally, I’ve had flashes of psychic insights for years before I became a professional intuitive advisor. I can’t explain what it’s like in words, but it’s not a clear vision of the future. Usually, I get a gut feeling, an image, or a vague sense that something is happening or has recently occurred. I might not find out this thing has, in fact, truly happened until much later.
Even though I can’t alter reality, I consider this knowledge valuable. It helps me process my feelings and prepare to meet the situation with a clear mind.
For example, every time I’ve had a past lover be unfaithful, deceitful, or any other shade of wrong, I’ve known it far in advance. When I’ve consulted the tarot about it, cards representing heartbreak, backstabbing, and dishonesty always came up.
Now, when these cards come up in a reading for someone else, I talk about such topics in a general sense. I trust the querent resonates with the themes, whether they share with me the details of their situation or not. I’d never say, “your lover is cheating on you. Leave them.” That’s not my place.
In conclusion, I don’t make decisions for other people, and no psychic or tarot reader should.
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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this post.
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